*It’s going to be awfully tight but if we can just get politicians to stop looking cross-eyed at their nose and lift their gaze to the big wide world – and stop kowtowing to ideological extremists – we may still have time to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
*Global Warming. Why are there so many sceptics? Actually there aren’t any sceptics. There are lots of compulsively argumentative people, the sort who deny there was a Moon landing or a Holocaust. Poor old Galileo encountered this – we don’t want your facts, we want our fiction. And then there are the Greedies who know we face an eco-disaster but will do whatever it takes to leave it to others to foot the bill. So, with the help of the malleable media, they are allowed to keep muddying the water.
*Capitalism’s great pay-packet gift to top bureaucrats was to change their job titles to CEO. For example, local councils used to be run by Town Clerks but when they became CEOs their salaries soared. School principals and police/fire chiefs should lobby to be called CEO!
*Speaking of which, I dreamt I was interviewing corporate bosses and asked why they shun ethics, and they all asked me to spell it.
*Speaking of which, I interviewed a senior banker in the 1990s and asked if profits and CEO salaries keep skyrocketing while ordinary people fall further and further behind, isn’t a shamelessly unjust system that’s been rigged by elites unsustainable and will eventually collapse? He said “Yeah, I suppose so”.
*Some people think I must have an ulterior motive doing my Mates Rates campaign, perhaps to get a public profile to enter politics. Yes, you’re right, ordinary people can’t simply see wrong-doing and do something about it! Pathetically, in the shrivelled world of cynics, everyone has an agenda. With so many people thinking like that no wonder politics and corporations have undergone ethics cleansing.
*If you love dogs you love them all, but are there better natural entertainers than labradors? Our family chocolate was looking in through my rear glass sliding door and saw his reflection on the front glass sliding door, so he raced around to the front door, only to see the strange dog now at the rear door. He thought about it for a few seconds and obviously decided “Nah, this is too much hard work”, so he had a lie-down.
*”Kilo-metres, Hiro-shima, don’t you have bigger issues to worry about?”. Yes, but there’s method to my nitpicking. If we can chip away and get more people to use commonsense perhaps we can usher in an exciting new era of rational thinking that’ll stop people voting for idiots.
*Something I’d love to see before I die (er, sorry, pass away). A good-hearted politician who declares “I say what I mean and mean what I say” while taking a lie-detector test and passing. What a great idea for an election campaign TV ad!
*Speaking of which, what a great idea for all candidates in election campaigns! It’d separate the wheat from the chaff if they were all required to take lie-detector tests. We don’t have time anymore for political time-wasters.
*Speaking of which, there should be a law banning politicians from using the most disingenuous sentence ever created by spin doctors: “We’ll do all we can”.
*When film of the beheading of American journalist James Foley by terrorists was seen around the world in 2014, New York’s Daily News newspaper splashed “Savages” on its front page.
When film of the napalm bombing of children in Vietnam by American warplanes was seen around the world in 1972, the Daily News did NOT splash “Savages” on its front page.
*What did you do for a job when you were young, Daddy? I dropped napalm bombs on Vietnamese children. But I was only carrying out orders, like prison guards in Nazi concentration camps. Anyway, I still need treatment for PTSD, whereas those children don’t, they’re resting peacefully.
*Daddy, did all that bombing stop a communist takeover of Vietnam? Um, no. So did the predicted domino effect happen and the rest of Southeast Asia become communist? Um, no. So what was the point of all that slaughter? Um, you’ll have to ask the warmongers who still control Washington. They’re much smarter than me. But I’m sure it wasn’t just to make lots of money for corporations that manufacture military equipment. That’d be evil.
*Mates Rates 6. I’ve begun Stage 2 of my public awareness campaign with this letter to the council.
“I wrote to you two months ago about your ‘Winners and Losers’ rates system but haven’t had a reply. I have two questions: 1) Are the Mayor and councillors paying more than the average increase this year, or less, or the average – or have their rates actually decreased? 2) Do you use a list of names or occupations to ensure certain ‘winners’ pay less than the average increase? Because public money is involved I assume I can get the answers. All the best, Mike Vincent”.
*Speaking of which, I’m wondering if I should have an official name for my campaign against the Kaipara District Council, to give it more oomph. I quite like Fairness in Rates Kaipara, or FIRK. Win or lose I could have the slogan “Firk’n’ hell”.
*That was my 800th observation! I’m so excited, I’m on Cloud 10! I’m so excited, I’m going to throw a party at my place and everyone is invited! I’m so excited, I’m going to keep using exclamation marks! But seriously, when my grandson Alex set up my website in early 2017 I had no idea we had such a monuMENTAL dickheads crisis. Most people seem aware we have mankind-threatening problems, yet for some bizarre reason they are attracted to politicians who have dazzling ineptitude. Mind you, humans have been lemming-like bewitched by flashy egomaniacs for thousands of years.
*”Claims of Global Warming are nonsense and Donald Trump says so and he should know because he’s president and is an expert on all kinds of stuff and wouldn’t be where he is today if he was stupid. He sums up complex issues in a few simple words on Twitter whereas those windbag scientists go on and on about nothing. They wouldn’t know if their arse was on fire”. Tell you what, mate (speaking of which) I’d keep a close eye on your arse because it could burst into flames in the not-too-distant future as spontaneous combustion becomes increasingly common.
*Ronald Reagan’s Star Wars “defence” missile system in the 80s, Donald Trump’s Space Fleet in the teensies – those faceless Washington Warmongers must wet themselves coming up with these genius ways to hand over even more taxpayers’ money to private corporations. The poor things, it must be demoralising to be constantly told there isn’t enough money for their schemes. Sadly, this is what happens when rich people are allowed to avoid tax. Don’t despair! Getting rid of public schools and hospitals would free up billions of dollars for these vital military projects. It’d be a much more intelligent use of taxpayers’ money. Sometimes a bit of pain is necessary for the greater good. Not all right-wing ideology is stupid.
*When I become World President I’ll pass a law banning our children from turning 40. We oldies have enough time on our hands as it is to worry about stuff without being reminded of our age and the approaching finish line.
*Every artistic molecule in our body screams out to attend concerts by our favourite musicians, but I can’t. I can barely listen to live albums. Jimi Hendrix’s magnificent makeover of Bob Dylan’s “Like a rolling stone” in San Francisco in 1968 (The Jimi Hendrix Experience 2013 CD3) unleashes cosmic guitar sounds, but during a brief lull when we can pinch ourselves to confirm the magic that’s just washed over us there’s a philistine in the huge crowd who shatters the spell with one of those hideous mindless piercing whistles. That’s like being in an art gallery and picking your nose while looking at a Van Gogh.
*Speaking of which, I hope there is a God and an afterlife so artists such as Van Gogh, Turner, Vivaldi and Jimi Hendrix know how much their talent is treasured. Vivaldi was Europe’s rock star 300 years ago but died a broke has-been after 20 years of fame and fortune, and his music was only rediscovered by chance 200 years later. It was meant to happen. And music lovers will always be thankful for this incredibly lucky gift. My heart sings as I listen to some of my 90 CD Vivaldi collection first thing every morning, marvelling at how beautifully this genius revolutionised classical music with all of his astonishing 500+ concertos. I’ve listened to all the famous composers and for me Vivaldi will always be head and shoulders, a giant whispering “Eat my dust”.
*From what I can gather, the often talked about American Dream is basically work like a maniac, make a pile of money, and spend the rest of your life vacuously buying expensive stuff. I prefer the little talked about Aussie Dream – work at a civilised pace to get to the weekend for a barbie and beers.
*When the speed limit is 50 kilo-metres per hour some drivers want it raised to 60. When it’s 100 they want 110 or even 120. I bet if we had 200 kph some still wouldn’t be happy! It’s as if they have a kamikaze gene. The big fear for sane drivers is being wiped out by someone so incompetent they’re always running late.
*Chemical Haze. I had a couple of minor health issues recently which led to a pill-popping spree, peaking at an insane 26 pills in a day. Goodness gracious me, one painkiller had a side-effect that required another pill! The before and after was astonishing. In the 2 weeks before my spree I wrote 36 observations. During the spree I managed only 6 in 2 weeks. Was I brain-deadish from all the chemicals? With pill-popping records being set every year, is the human species becoming brain-deadish?
*We often hear former American presidents addressed “Mr President”. Huh? There’s respect, and there’s brown-nosing. What’s wrong with the accurate “Mr ex President”?
*Speaking of which, it wasn’t funny at the time and still isn’t but “Mr ex President” George Bush junior gave many of us a lifetime chuckle when his warmonger government banned a man of love and peace (who even had a famous hit song “Peace train”) from entering the U.S. because he was a bearded Muslim, like Osama bin Laden. Yeah but they all look the same.
*Life often seems like a series of jigsaw puzzles with pieces scattered everywhere, and then something miraculous pops into place. A fluke, or destiny? It’s heartbreaking that so many poor souls find life too much of a puzzle and can’t take any more pain. You wonder if their pieces might’ve been close to popping into place. Life is so fragile, tenuous, a roll of the dice.
*Back to me and my health, did my amazing PC know I was getting crook and deliberately increase my pre pill-popping spree observations in anticipation of a reduced output because of the chemicals? Far-fetched? Nothing about our brilliant brains should surprise.
*Back to me, myself and I, the great thing about working for a community radio station is that when I make stuff-ups on air listeners are inclined to be charitable and think “Poor old Vinny, he’s having more equipment problems”.
*Speaking of which, I was thrilled when a poll a few years ago found my music show was the best on the internet. 6 people were surveyed – my parents, children, and ex-wife. 5 said it was the best, one said it was the worst. Which proves not all polls are dodgy. My parents are now dead (er, sorry, passed away) but I’ll do an update soon by polling my grandchildren.
*Speaking of which, Donald Trump says his own polls indicate he’ll win 95% of the vote in the 2020 presidential election. Many say goodness gracious me the man is delusional. Trump says see, that’s why so much news is fake, because of people like that.
*Speaking of which, Trump really should become an author when he leaves the White House. He has a rare talent for fiction and fairy-tales.
*Mates Rates 7. This is my latest letter-to-the-editor in my public awareness campaign.
“Although my council rates increases have been 7 times the inflation rate over the last 8 years (more than double the average rates increases) thankfully I’ve found various ways to cut my spending in other areas to compensate. I’m an old-age pensioner and can make do without the internet and pay-TV. I’ve reduced my insurance premiums by having maximum excesses, only 3rd party property car cover, and no household contents cover. I’ve lowered my power bill by only using the hot water once a day for a quick shower (for other hot water I use the jug). I use less petrol by only going out once a week, and I can keep my phone bill down by not making toll calls to family in Auckland. These measures have helped me save the hundreds of dollars year I’m being unfairly charged by the council.”
Footnote: “Well done” the Nobel committee for awarding Bob Dylan its Literature Prize in October 2016. A negative nitpicking knocker might have said: “It’s about time!” After all, Bob was 75 at the time and had been writing his wonderful musical poetry for more than half a century. Predictably, shrivelled cloistered literary snobs shrieked their ignorant condemnation.