*The War on Reality Television. If I won the lottery I’d make one last desperate attempt to revive the human species by funding an international smelling salts campaign – to try to snap people out of their stupor.
*Pots and kettles. The western news media pooh-pooh the TV channel Russia Today as a propaganda unit of the government. At least RT is open about its bias, unlike western media bias. I think this makes RT more honest.
*Despite decades of public education campaigns domestic violence is heartbreakingly, depressingly as bad as ever. Mind you, having radio and television presenters who are idiots doesn’t help. In New Zealand a prime-time TV sports show was discussing a clash between an angry fan and the England soccer coach at the 2018 World Cup. One of the presenters said the coach should’ve headbutted the fan! (sigh) Goodness gracious me. The word neanderthal springs to mind.
*Speaking of England’s exit from the World Cup in the semifinals, it was funny how the BBC’s English Wimbledon commentators suddenly stopped mentioning the Cup. The world hubris springs to mind.
*One of society’s new golden rules, apparently: what’s in it for me? Oh, I dunno, the nice feeling you get from being kind or just doing the right thing. You know, the crap they don’t teach at business school.
*Speaking of which, it’s claimed talk is cheap, it costs nothing. That’s not true, it costs plenty. Integrity and dignity, for example.
*Snapshot of British society, live on television. Wimbledon is also entertaining OFF the court, watching all the special people in the best seats. Mind you, even in the royal box there’s a pecking order – the VIPs at the front and the basically least important people (the BLIPs) at the back. But at least even they are fenced off from the riffraff.
*Whingers are boring and annoying pains-in-the-arse (myself included) but they are vital in trying to stop people in authority becoming smug and complacent. WU – Whingers Unite. Let’s WU the word!
*America’s myopic mainstream media should stop obsessing about Czar Vladimir and focus on the much much much much bigger threat to U.S. security – Mother Nature. Oh, hang on, she’s been filed away in the Too Hard basket.
*Smacking my gob. The world’s greatest computer never ceases to amaze me. I reckon our brain’s best gift is storing precious memories – the birth of our children obviously, but another favourite is my late mother’s regular phone calls which always began “Hullo dear, it’s mum”, and me always smiling and thinking “Yes, mum, I recognise your voice!”. All the money and fame in the world can’t beat those sorts of treasures.
*When you compare all the great songs that’ve never won a Grammy Award with most of the ones that have, surely you have to agree that awards are bullshit.
*Put aside the spin, capitalism doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t add up, literally. A primary goal for right-wing governments is to weaken workers’ rights and see the back of those commie bastard unions. Yay! So far so good, bellows the business sector. Then make sure ordinary workers are paid peanuts and with manic zeal oppose pay rises. Yay! Most of them are bludgers anyway. The result is less purchasing power = less consumer spending = less sales for business = less support for stupid ideologies. Ingenious.
*America’s Founding Fathers (why weren’t there any Founding Mothers?) had most bases covered when they wrote the constitution but if they could see today’s Washington abomination I bet they would’ve added something like “Politicians cannot accept bribes nor offer favours for favours”. I also bet if there had been Founding Mothers this disastrous loophole would not have slipped through.
*A sincere suggestion to help losing coaches: fine-tune tactics on AND off the field. Instead of saying “I thought we were the better team, to be honest” try “I thought we were the worse team, to be dishonest”.
*It wasn’t always so but I’m pretty sure you have to be a member of the LOMBARD Club these days to be U.S. president.
*The video for Avicii’s song “Wake me up” is my favourite while we serve our 4 or 8-year Trump sentence. I’m sure kindness and wisdom will make a comeback.
*What will they call the expected Trump TV mini-series? Perhaps “How I saved the world, despite being surrounded by morons”. Many think it’ll be a horror story, but I’m certain it’ll be a love story.
*Mike and Goliath? Did the Catholic Church get my website banned? When launched in early 2017 it was way down Google’s search list for The Dead Philosophers Society, but as the number of my observations grew it eventually ousted the long-time Catholic website from top spot and remained no.1 for months. Google suddenly de-listed my website in July 2018 (although to Google’s credit I was re-listed a few days later). Perhaps I also upset someone by writing about the Catholic Church’s persecution of people with different viewpoints, including scientists like Galileo who debunked myths about the universe.
*Some politicians are superb at exposing and exploiting the toxic underbelly of many voters. Hitler proved that some people will jump at the chance to show their dark side.
*I wonder if America’s pathological hatred of Russia is linked to losing the so-called “Space Race” (coined by the airhead media half a century ago). If so, this bruised ego immaturity could drag on for generations because human behaviour is predictable. Ordinary people would be shocked if they knew how petty those in power can be.
*Bullies v Minorities. Hitler was one of the most infamous, and it continues. Glance at any newspaper and you’ll find some ignorant yobbo given unjustified oxygen to pick on a minority group. But of course, the cowardly media won’t allow criticism of majority groups, such as greyhaired greedies.
*So-called truth in advertising requires the qualification “Terms and Conditions apply”. Perhaps politicians should add “Ts and Cs apply” when making promises. Then perhaps voters won’t think their fibs are so blatant!
*Speaking of which, nearly everyone can turn their lives around because many mistakes are often due to ignorance and an open mind can fix that. Unfortunately, some people’s wiring bans words like remorse and apology, so redemption is impossible.
*Their poo doesn’t stink, apparently. Among GOAT hypocrites are governments that leave behind a stinking mess, and then have the gall to whinge about efforts by the new government to clean up that mess.
*Speaking of which, what sane person would want to be in politics in coming decades trying to deal with Global Warming devastation. I assume that’s when we’ll see police states to, er, maintain law and order (code for protecting the elites). The trouble is, even those extreme measures will be futile since there’ll be nowhere for anyone to run and hide. It’ll be the final chapter in the voluminous story of human stupidity.
*Speaking of which, Trump on Global Warming is like psychopathic Nero saying “What fire?”.
*There’s a line in a hit song “You don’t treat me no good no more”. At first I thought oh you poor bugger, that’s awful. But after spending more time trying to unravel this esoteric Tolstoy-like sentence I now actually think she’s treating him well, which is lovely.
*Speaking of which, rather than sing “I’m walking on sunshine, and don’t it feel good” why not “I’m walking on sunshine, and it feels good”? Songwriters everywhere, give me a call, my rates are very reasonable.
*Do greedies honestly think their fluky good times will continue forever? Aren’t they gorgeous. But seriously, how dumb.
*Not every picture tells the story. Jack has lots of gadgets, the latest tech devices. Jill has fewer gadgets. On the surface – to some people – Jack is cleverer. But Jack is up to his eyeballs in debt, and Jill isn’t. To some people Jill is cleverer.
*400 executives at one of Australia’s Big Four banks won’t get $100 million dollars in bonuses this year because of their bank’s dodgy behaviour. Boo hoo. Will banks learn from this and become decent citizens? Ha, what a silly question. All they’ll learn is to be even sneakier. We should try to recover the trillions of dollars ripped off consumers by banks all around the world. The War on Banks.
*In contrast, the Italians and French have figured out a lovely lifestyle balance over the centuries. Their wisdom and grace have created cherished global brands by blending artistic passion with commerce. Compare that with stunted Merchants of Avarice and their tunnel vision, feverishly seeking their next financial fix, kinda like a junkie.
*There’s a wry Aussie saying about things being shit-hot: 90% shit and 10% hot. Is this the internet these days? When this amazing invention arrived people with actual talent gave us marvels like Wikipedia, but now it’s been swamped with…… well, I’m glad I don’t spend $80 a month to have net access.
*When bile oozes out of certain politicians’ mouths I think of Seinfeld’s Elaine saying to George”What did your parents do to you?”.
*Philanthropists aren’t rich people handing out a minuscule proportion of their fortune via tax-dodging foundations. Philanthropists are ordinary kind people who give a small amount of money – maybe just a coin – to charities, street buskers, fund-raising kids etc. “Philanthropia” is Greek for love of people.
*The Merchant of Tennis. Everybody loves GOAT Roger Federer, and he seems to be a really nice bloke. But will his extraordinary good fortune (a $300 million clothing deal) cause more misery for workers in Third World countries? Corporations are ruthless and demand returns on their investments, by hook or by crook, hence horror stories of sweat shops and children working for pennies.
*Mike and Goliath 2. If the Catholic Church is unhappy with my “Mike and Goliath” 19 observations ago, it’s true I have no proof of any meddling that resulted in my website being temporarily banned. But it was a coincidence, and police detectives don’t believe in coincidences. Dirty tricks? That’d be sinful.
*Speaking of which, the Catholic Church finally admitted it was wrong and pardoned Galileo in 1992, 350 years after his death! The Italian astronomer was the first to use a telescope to debunk myths about the universe but – threatened with execution for heresy – he wisely renounced (publicly) his findings. However, he was exiled and when he died he presumably went to hell (if there is a hell), so probably doesn’t know about the pardon. His great great great great great great great great great great great great grandchildren must’ve been pleased though. Galileo’s only “crime” was to make some people look stupid.
*Speaking of which, I wonder how Jesus would’ve reacted, being a preacher of love, humility and charity….. and also being a victim of persecution, with extreme prejudice.
*Speaking of which, maybe we can shut up all those annoying scientists and their Global Warming findings by also putting them on trial for heresy? Can we still do that?
*Donald Trump’s great legacy: never again will the office of U.S. president be revered without question. Surely? Like the rest of us, leaders ought to earn respect, not be given it automatically. We flawed humans should never be put on a pedestal.
*Freedom of the press. That’s a laugh. Media giants are owned by corporations which require a certain type of government to, er, oil the wheels. This is why greedies, warmongers and eco vandals more or less run the world. If we had freedom of the press Global Warming would’ve been stopped decades ago because it’s clearly a no-brainer.
*Speaking of which, many people think the Trump Presidency is an aberration. Not when you look at the last few presidents! In fact, Trump’s election was predictable given how many Americans vote based on their conditioned prejudices, not logic. Take a bow the media.
*Speaking of which, the faceless people who pull the strings in Washington love it when dimwits are elected. I’m waiting for a Kardashian to run for president. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before there’s a strong enough will to change.
*I have no proof but I’m convinced dogs understand what we say. Our family border collie, Bo always wags his tail when I tell him he should be in Hollywood because he’s so handsome.
*Some people think I dislike rich people, and it’s because I’m envious. Come on, seriously? Mind you, when you see how money turns some very unexceptional people into arrogant callous narcissists, it’s mandatory to dislike them! Rich people are fine if they accept we live in societies, not gated communities, and they support fairness for all. Decent people don’t want ideologies that create winners and losers.
*Global Warming. We’ll know the mainstream media are finally serious – and it will happen – when they stop using the sugar-coated right-wing concocted term Climate Change. Not many signs yet, tragically.
*Global Warming. I’ve written a story on all the mainstream editors who haven’t lifted a finger to alert silent majority sheeple. When the editors are retired with their air conditioners on permanent maximum I’ll release the story under the headline “Shame shame shame”.
*Oh oh. We’re in deeper trouble than I thought. There’s a line in a 2018 hit song “I’ve seen it on TV, I know how it goes”.
*Protest action – whether it’s people out in the street or just a letter – is the lifeblood of democracy. Even if you have little hope of winning at least the bastards know you’re out there and won’t go away.
*Money for nothing. I bought some throat lozenges made by a Big Pharma corporation but it was only later that I read on the back of the packet “The efficacy of an antibacterial agent in lozenges in reducing the severity and duration of throat infections has not been clinically established”. The cheeky bastards! I could make a fortune selling placebo sugar pills used in clinical trials, and all I’d have to do is print something like this on the packet: “This product is absolutely useless but imagine how good you will feel popping a pill”. If only I was a sociopath.
*The buck stops there. Or maybe over there. Donald Trump’s employee selections have been so mind-bogglingly bad he really ought to tweet himself “You’re fired”.
*Speaking of which, we should dump democracy and switch to meritocracy. Let’s face it, we’ve given democracy a good go but it’s been mauled by sharks and is just wheezing away on life-support.
*Thousands and thousands of Mother Nature’s species have become/are becoming extinct because of human behaviour. So are words such as humble, modest, and unassuming. Is there a link between the fame obsession and widespread mental illness?
*Could a symbolic name and colour change for America’s most famous political building help that nation’s race relations? Is calling it The White House insensitive? Red would upset the Democrats, blue wouldn’t be acceptable to the Republicans, green would anger reactionary rednecks, pink would infuriate homophobes, yellow would enrage xenophobes, and black or brown would burst racists’ neck veins. Purple? Hmmm, we may have to think about that one. Beige would only offend the tiny minority with good taste. Apart from that the human species is in great shape.
*The U.S. spends an eye-watering one quarter of its budget on military stuff. Imagine how many Big Macs and Cokes that’d buy for foreign aid! The U.S. wants its allies (code for bootlickers) to sharply increase their military spending (“Look at all these fabulous shiny American war toys you could buy”). Apart from that the human species is in great shape.
*There’s always been pressure on young people to “succeed” but it seems worse these days with social media, fame obsession etc. Hey, become a politician. People have very low expectations of them!
*We know one of the greatest cons of all time – the hilarious Trickle Down Economic Theory – has been a huge success for the rich, but the rest of us with our heads tilted back and mouths open have parched throats. It’s time to try the Trickle Up Economic Theory.
*A blunt precis of televangelists I’ve been watching: join us now, or God will basically drop a nuclear bomb on you, but you won’t die, instead you’ll suffer eternal torment. Goodness gracious me, doesn’t that breach broadcasting standards?
*Speaking of protest action, I was surprised how relatively easy it was for me to have wins against a bank, an insurance company, and a local council in recent years. To cut a long story short it only required a few letters (they always automatically fob you initially because they think you’ll go away), a couple of complaints to ombudsmen, and on one occasion paying a $50 fee to go to the small claims court where lawyers are not allowed. When a court date was set I immediately got an offer of a couple of thousand dollars, provided I signed a confidentiality agreement. Sometimes we have a duty to get off our bums.
*Speaking of which, I have another one-man protest coming up soon, but this one is public and on behalf of hundreds of people. I’ll give you details ASAP.
*Speaking of which, my no.1 favourite saying is “Actions speak louder than words”. Mother Nature has been betrayed by politicians around the world who think words speak louder than actions, and wow she’s pissed off.
*Mates Rates. I live in New Zealand’s rural Northland which is dominated by dairy farmers and their right-wing politicians, and I’m shocked at the blatant “winners and losers” rates imposed by local councils. I’ve begun a protest on behalf of hundreds of ripped-off ratepayers. Bob Dylan’s song “What good am I” is about seeing injustice but doing nothing. I have some media skills in bringing issues to the public’s attention, but even if protest action has little chance of winning at least the bastards know that we know what they’re up to. If Silent Majority Sheeple choose to do nothing about the scammers, at least I tried. And The War on Dickheads WILL continue.